P365 - 2017 - Day 71 - my tale...someone that runs

P365 - 2017 - Day 71 - my tale...someone that runs

I started running almost 12 years ago.  That is sort of hard to believe but that is a fact.  Here's how it happened.  For the first almost 32 years of my life my general feeling about running was that I would only do it if being chased and then only if the person chasing me posed a serious threat.  If any of my past physical education teachers are reading this, they may recall me whining about running a lap around the track.  I also was known to say "I can't run", which I now know is patently ridiculous.  Of course I could.  I was perfectly capable of running but chose not to.  Except, that behind all of that, I wanted to.  I know that doesn't make any sense but that is also a fact.  I wanted to run but, like many things in my life, I was intimidated by the whole thing and the fact that I "wasn't good enough".  Somehow, I had it in my head that I had to be "good" at something before even giving it a try.  I also thought that "being good' was the reason to do things.  Ahh, youth and it's silly notions, unrealistic expectations, and debilitating pride.  This is what I have told my children (especially my daughter) their whole lives....don't be like me.  Don't be an observer in life.  Be a doer.  Don't be afraid to try.  Get out there are give everything a chance.  Do everything with passion and for no one else but yourself.  Live.  So back to my tale.... many times over the years, I entertained the thought of running but never did.  Then I became a mom, first to my twins and then to a third, and while I was pregnant with my third child, my husband bought a treadmill.  For himself.  While I was pregnant.  After demanding that he not use it (hormones) and instead gain weight with his wife in a show of solidarity (pregnancy insanity) I decided that the minute I was given the go ahead to exercise again after delivering this child, I was going to start running.  Not only that but I also declared (again with those pregnancy hormones) that I would be running the LBI 18 mile run.  Someday.  So sometime in June of 2005 after the standard 6 week recovery from delivery, I began my running journey.  It was a slow start both literally and figuratively.  I started from the most basic place one could start.  I started by running about a minute every few minutes.  I don't really remember how far I went or how much I actually ran or what my times were.  I also don't really remember when I stopped walking and started only running.  What I do remember was that in October of 2008, I ran and completed the LBI 18 mile run.  I didn't have any other plans after that and for many years I just ran....with no particular goal in mind except to move forward.  I should back up a bit in this tale and explain that I lost my mom in 2006 and my dad in 2012 and running was my sanity, my escape, my therapy,  and what I did when I thought that I just couldn't breath.  After a move back to NJ, some life changes, and health changes that included losing weight, I decided that it was time to set some new running goals and challenge myself.  Again, I looked to the LBI 18 mile run, a run across the 18 mile island I now call home and a reminder that at one point I thought I couldn't do this but I did.  I ran the 18 again and registered for some 5k's and realized my running had really improved!  I had no idea.  I ran the 18 again and took the leap to register for my first marathon - all the while still unable to call myself a runner.  I'm just someone that runs, I thought.  I ran through my first winter training for that first marathon, ran my first official half marathon and completed 26.2 miles.   Running has brought many people into my life - friends that I am forever grateful for and who motivate me everyday.  Running has proven to me that I can do anything I put my mind to.  It is still my sanity and my therapy and can be both my quiet time and my time to catch up with friends - whether they are the ones I see every week or the ones that I look forward to seeing when they make their way back to LBI.  So today when I ran my first official 10k ( certainly not my first 10k run but my first 10k race) and won the first female overall, I was beside myself happy.   Not just because I won (although that was pretty cool, I won't lie) but because I never thought I could do this at all.  Somewhere along the line, I have accepted that I am a runner because I am someone that runs.  That's all there is to it.  I run.  It makes me happy and I am so glad I gave it a chance.