P365 - 2017 - Day 71 - my tale...someone that runs
I started running almost 12 years ago. That is sort of hard to believe but that is a fact. Here's how it happened. For the first almost 32 years of my life my general feeling about running was that I would only do it if being chased and then only if the person chasing me posed a serious threat. If any of my past physical education teachers are reading this, they may recall me whining about running a lap around the track. I also was known to say "I can't run", which I now know is patently ridiculous. Of course I could. I was perfectly capable of running but chose not to. Except, that behind all of that, I wanted to. I know that doesn't make any sense but that is also a fact. I wanted to run but, like many things in my life, I was intimidated by the whole thing and the fact that I "wasn't good enough". Somehow, I had it in my head that I had to be "good" at something before even giving it a try. I also thought that "being good' was the reason to do things. Ahh, youth and it's silly notions, unrealistic expectations, and debilitating pride. This is what I have told my children (especially my daughter) their whole lives....don't be like me. Don't be an observer in life. Be a doer. Don't be afraid to try. Get out there are give everything a chance. Do everything with passion and for no one else but yourself. Live. So back to my tale.... many times over the years, I entertained the thought of running but never did. Then I became a mom, first to my twins and then to a third, and while I was pregnant with my third child, my husband bought a treadmill. For himself. While I was pregnant. After demanding that he not use it (hormones) and instead gain weight with his wife in a show of solidarity (pregnancy insanity) I decided that the minute I was given the go ahead to exercise again after delivering this child, I was going to start running. Not only that but I also declared (again with those pregnancy hormones) that I would be running the LBI 18 mile run. Someday. So sometime in June of 2005 after the standard 6 week recovery from delivery, I began my running journey. It was a slow start both literally and figuratively. I started from the most basic place one could start. I started by running about a minute every few minutes. I don't really remember how far I went or how much I actually ran or what my times were. I also don't really remember when I stopped walking and started only running. What I do remember was that in October of 2008, I ran and completed the LBI 18 mile run. I didn't have any other plans after that and for many years I just ran....with no particular goal in mind except to move forward. I should back up a bit in this tale and explain that I lost my mom in 2006 and my dad in 2012 and running was my sanity, my escape, my therapy, and what I did when I thought that I just couldn't breath. After a move back to NJ, some life changes, and health changes that included losing weight, I decided that it was time to set some new running goals and challenge myself. Again, I looked to the LBI 18 mile run, a run across the 18 mile island I now call home and a reminder that at one point I thought I couldn't do this but I did. I ran the 18 again and registered for some 5k's and realized my running had really improved! I had no idea. I ran the 18 again and took the leap to register for my first marathon - all the while still unable to call myself a runner. I'm just someone that runs, I thought. I ran through my first winter training for that first marathon, ran my first official half marathon and completed 26.2 miles. Running has brought many people into my life - friends that I am forever grateful for and who motivate me everyday. Running has proven to me that I can do anything I put my mind to. It is still my sanity and my therapy and can be both my quiet time and my time to catch up with friends - whether they are the ones I see every week or the ones that I look forward to seeing when they make their way back to LBI. So today when I ran my first official 10k ( certainly not my first 10k run but my first 10k race) and won the first female overall, I was beside myself happy. Not just because I won (although that was pretty cool, I won't lie) but because I never thought I could do this at all. Somewhere along the line, I have accepted that I am a runner because I am someone that runs. That's all there is to it. I run. It makes me happy and I am so glad I gave it a chance.
